Let's Inherit the Earth

Here are some of the best conversations that I've had in a LONG time. <3 This site is great... if you like being dumb like I do.

The Only Thing That's Left to do is Live

Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.

After all the loving and the losing,
For the heroes and the pioneers,
The only thing that's left to do is live.

-Frank Turner. <3

Wild hearts, blue jeans, & white t-shirts

Oh! To live in California. Autumn is one of the most confusing seasons here in California. Just this morning, while walking to work, I witnessed this confusion first hand. To my left, a man walking to class wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and to my right, a girl wearing a winter coat with a scarf around her neck. The temperature outside-- somewhere around 60 degrees.


This is California living.


My solution to this confusing weather? Flip-flops. Today I wore a long sleeve shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. My logic is that if it gets hot then at least my feet will be cool, and if it gets cold then at least it's only my feet that will be cold.

I bet that guy in the shorts and t-shirt was just a little chilly this morning. I bet that girl in the winter coat was sweating in 5 minutes. Me? I felt goooood.


Thank you California, you've been a wonderful audience.

If we're stuck on this ship and it's sinking, then we might as well have a parade

Let's begin at the beginning. I've never been one for sitting idly by while the world passes me by. I like to take chances and I like to stir things up. I live in a place, in a time where we're taught not to judge others by race or gender, yet I am judged every day of my life.

I thank college for my emergence from my shell, even though it took 3 years. I let the pressures of society get to me and I followed what I thought was expected of me. Girls go this way, boys go that way. I've never been one for barbies... unless I was covering them in mud and cutting off their hair. However, if you were to give me Hotwheels then I could play for hours and be completely content. So, once I broke through my fickle shell I decided on the road less traveled. Why? I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I wanted to shock everyone. I wanted people to look at me and think, "wow... I never expected that of you." What was the road that I took? Computer Science. I achieved my shock value, and then some. I thought people would take me more seriously, possibly have some respect for me for choosing this road. Boy, was I wrong.

I still get the snickers from the boys in the corner. I still get the phone calls at work saying, "Is there someone else there who could help me with a technical question?"

Everyday.
It never fails.

I'm judged by my voice.
I'm judged by my looks.
I'm judged by my smile.
I'm judged by everything and everyone.


But you know what? I don't care anymore. The judgment will never stop, no matter what I do or how angry I get. All I can do is prove everyone's assumptions about me wrong. I'm pretty sure that it's something that I'll have to put up with for the rest of my life, but I chose this road and I am strong enough to stand my ground.

Besides, I've always liked the idea of owning my own private island... it's just in this case, I am my own island.

Addicted

My current addictions:

• The Gaslight Anthem
• Frank Turner
• Owl City
• Parachute
• Kings of Leon

I seriously cannot stop listening to these artists... over and over and over. Even while I'm at work.. my iPod is on non-stop. <3 If I had to be addicted to anything, I'm glad that it's music.

Experiment

I've been playing around with Adobe Illustrator this week and thought I'd share a picture. Wooh!

Time Keeps on Ticking.

The future.

If you're at all interesting in the happenings of my life then by all means, keep reading. I remember just a couple months ago I was wondering what sort of new things were about to happen, where my future lied, and how scary, yet somewhat exciting, it was all going to be. To put it simply: nothing has changed. My boyfriend decided to not pursue the job that would change our lives. I live in the same apartment, going to the same school, working in the same office. It will be like this for at least another 3 months... then hopefully I'll have a bachelor's degree in my hands.

To my friends.

I apologize for being so seemingly preoccupied. I thought that I'd have so much more time during the summer to make videos, skype, and just be around! But no, it seems that working 8-5 is a tiresome chore. By the time I get home from work I want to eat dinner and lay around because I'm exhausted. I'd say I'm ready for school to start again, but I'm not. This final quarter of my schooling will indeed be the worst for me yet. I guess I'm just asking for my new friends to be patient with me while I find my footing.

Update:end. <3

Fell in love with a girl.

fell in love once and almost completely.

And her name is Eva. <3

...anyone else think the White Stripes were pretty awesome? mmm.

Head Held High

I worked out yesterday for the first time in about 6 months. You know how you set goals for yourself, some that you'd like to accomplish in a day, some in a week, some in 5 years?  I set myself a goal about 3 years ago, and still have not even come near to accomplishing it. Here's the background: I used to be a dancer. No, not that kind of dancer... I danced ballet, tap, jazz, and a bunch of other sorts of styles that are affiliated with the term: dance. I danced for at least 12 years which means that I was in pretty good shape. A few years ago I decided to stop dancing to help me concentrate on working and college, because that's what I was told I needed to focus on. Apparently dancing would take me nowhere, thanks for the encouragement. With the passing time I have become what I would call, "out of shape". 

Someone is singing in the hallway again. o.O 

Ugh. I'm so easily distracted. According to my Wii Fit, which I trust with all my heart, *cough*sarcasm*cough* I am "normal". However, I vowed 3 years ago when I stopped dancing that I would stay in shape and go back to dancing as soon as I could afford the time. 

I failed.

Three years have passed and I have not worked out to stay in the shape that I was when I dance, nor have I attempted to go back to dancing, even though it's all my heart wants to do. Every time an old friend asks me, "Hey Stacey! How have you been? Still dancing?" I answer with a broken heart, "No, I don't have time anymore." It's saddening. 

I really didn't mean for this to sound like a sob story. This is a story about goals, goals that need to be kept. So here, today, I will set goals that I wish to accomplish in the the next year.

List of Goals:

1. FINALLY get back into shape.
2. Take a dance class, whether it's at my old studio or a new one.
3. Graduate with a Bachelor's Degree!
4. Stay close to friends and family.
5. Strengthen my relationship with Jesus. <3
6. Remember that I am not the most important thing in my life.

I'd say that's enough for now. Too many goals can be unrealistic, so I'd just like to stay with these for now. Give me a year and let's see what I can do. 

<3

Oh look! The wall.

See that flower on the wall? Yah, no one ever does. 

It's hard to be friends when only one person is trying.

Ignore me.

I'm over it.

Oh, Hello Summer.

I got a little toasted yesterday while hanging out by the pool. I guess that I forgot that I haven't really seen the sun in a couple years. I used to NEVER burn.. so I'm used to not wearing sunscreen except on my face. Oh, how I was wrong this time. I think I'm pretty much half white girl/half lobster now. It's only 11am and I've gotten about 5 comments on how "burned" I am.

Yes. Thank you. I know.

I should have worn a big t-shirt to work today so no one would notice, but it's so stinkin hot outside that if I did wear a t-shirt I would die of heat stroke or something! Ah.. welcome to Southern California summer.. you've been missed. Speaking of summer, I need some summer plans! :D The first plan was England, the second was New York, and now it's looking like Hawaii. (And you all wondered why I had two jobs and worked 7 days a week... pfft. It's so I can have a fun summer!) Although, I'll still be working over the summer, but at least this job is a fun job. 

So the summer plans are up in the air with everything else at the moment. :| bah. 

OH! Side-note: My trackpad clicker on my laptop is making funny noises. This is so not cool.

The End.

<3

Procrastination

This is what I call "Procrastination at its finest." It is currently 12:17pm and I have a midterm at 6:00 that I have not studied for. -_- I find the Spring quarter such a hard time to get motivated. By the time the weather warms up the only place that I want to be is outside... not sitting in a classroom. You would think that this being my second to last quarter in college that I would be more motivated.. but I'm not. 

So many things are happening, or could be happening soon, and I find it hard to keep my mind in once place for an extended amount of time. My future is hanging in the next couple of weeks. One phone call will determine: Am I moving? Am I staying? Am I losing my boyfriend for 4 months? Am I looking for a job here? Am I going to England this summer? Am I moving in with my parents again? If I leave, how often will I really get to see my family? Will my niece remember me? Will I make friends easily if I do move?

It all rides on one phone call.

It's really hard to stay focused on school when my whole life is may be about to turn up-side-down.

But hey.. My weekend trip up to San Francisco was awesome! :D